Jack Michael Allison

Apparel Chair, C’20

Place of Origin: Philadelphia

Favorite Musician: Steely Dan

Favorite A Cappella Syllable: bigbottom

Favorite Song in Pennchants Rep: I Want You Back

Benchpress: About four or five small children

Current Sexual Partners: Abstinent

Current Attractive Sexual Partners: Abstinent

Preferred Sex Noise: Zoo-Wee-Mama!

Body Abnormalities: Ever since the accident it’s been a heightened sense of smell.

Ideal Date: Take her to the Chuck-E-Cheese around the corner WITHOUT showing her the unlimited pizza coupon in my wallet. Slip the coupon to the garçon and have him refill those pizza pies to her heart’s content. Take her to the jungle gym and- the rest is l’histoire.

Favorite Kitchen Appliance/Utensil: Sink

Random Fact: I played runescape for almost 3 hours every night in 6th grade.